Going home, “Farewell Bangkok Hilton”
My Transfer date of
You can read about Kay’s ordeal in her book “Nightmare in
Kay Danes and Tony Fox, martin Hodgson all do incredible work for prisoners around the world, check out their website on: http://www.foreignprisoners.com/ “Do what you can readers to help”! The monotonous daily life in prison, it’s easy to forget what day of the week it is, dates become irrelevant and recalling events in any order becomes a problem.
My request on compassionate grounds for an extra contact visit with my wife and son, submitted through the British Embassy was refused, as is the case with the majority of any requests you ask the Embassy to make on your behalf.
Past experience has taught me to never rely on the Embassy for anything, no matter what verbal guaranties they give you.
So I took the precaution of also submitting my own request despite the usual Embassy guarantee.
My request was approved, yet when I informed the Embassy of this they were adamant the visit couldn’t go ahead, despite me telling them I had the approved request paper.
How many of our actual requests made through our Embassy, they actually follow through with, is a question we British prisoners here in Bangkwang prison often ask each other.
When it comes to the mighty British Embassy who most definitely do have the most influential clout with
Yet on most occasions the British Embassy chooses not to use their clout at all for the benefit of a handful of British Prisoners imprisoned in the horrific conditions that break just about every human right law written here in Bangkwang. We Brits would be better off to trade our British passports for any other European nation’s passport.
Most of you readers will be under the miss-conception that the British Embassy would be one of the best Embassies to be under the care of. How wrong you all are!!
With my transfer date only days away, the importance of my contact visit with Lek and Oak couldn’t be more, as there’s still no word on Lek’s settlement visa appeal and no telling how long before I will see them in England.
To be really honest readers, I don’t want to transfer with Lek’s visa still un-resolved, I feel like I am abandoning them by leaving them behind in
I asked Lek to come to visit me the day before our scheduled contact visit on November 2nd, this would be the normal visit with bars and glass separating us. This would give us another extra visit together before my transfer and also Lek could check at the outside visitor’s office that our contact visit the following day was all cleared to go ahead.
Like the British Embassy the prison bureaucrats can not be relied upon, so everything has to be checked and double checked.
Thursday morning November 1st! hardly slept last night, feeling very anxious about today’s visit, as this is prison, this is Thailand, all sorts of things can go wrong, take nothing for granted in Thailand, least of all in a Thai prison. Today and tomorrow are my last chance to see my wife and son for god knows how long.
Also due to visit today together with my wife, son and Mother in law is my new good friend Richard, his first meting with my family. Shit! What is he going to make of the “HECTIC” little Oak.
To my great relief 9.30 am I am called to the visit area, my first glimpse of “The Rebellious Oak” is my mother in law chasing him up and down the long corridor of the visit section, looks like “The Little Terrorist” is in fine form. Shit! He sure has ENERGY that kid!!
First words out of my mouth over the visit telephone, after a quick “hello”! “how are you”, were, “is the contact visit okay for tomorrow?”, “yes darling everything okay I check already”, lek replies. (Wow!, massive Relief!!).
Lek looks beautiful, even through 2 dirty glass dividers and bars that separate us, Oak is running wild all over the place with Lek’s mum in tow, Oak only pauses occasionally to strike out at a passing guard BLESS HIM!! Shit he learns quick!!
I can’t help, but feel guilty that in 5 days time I would be leaving for
Despite my feeling of guilt and abandonment the 2 hour visit was one of the better ones we’ve had, even Oak pauses in his Terrorist activities and hectic behaviour to have a word with me.
Richard was introduced to Lek and family, I could see the relief on Richards face that the wild and hypo active Oak wasn’t one of the pupils that Richard teaches at the School he works “only joking”!! Richard!!
It was of great importance to me Richard that you met my family before I transferred to
Most of the visit I spend re-assuring Lek that her settlement visa appeal would be successful and her and Oak would soon be following me to England, I left no doubt in her mind it was possible for her visa to be refused and all 3 of us would soon be starting a new life in England soon.
The close of visits we said our good byes Lek and Oak blowing me kisses, yes it was a great visit, and more to come with tomorrows contact visit.
Again a very anxious and virtually sleepless night for me, Friday November 2nd arrives “Our contact visit and farewell”.
A 30 minute late call to my visit had me on very tender hooks and pacing up and down like an expectant father.
As I exit the main gate of building 6 after a thorough search by the Blue Shirt trustee prisoner (Low life vultures), with my bag of chocolates and sweets still intact for Oak and another bag of cold drinks in my other hand. Through the meshed fenced surround of the parcel collection area for prisoners that doubles as the contact visit area for foreign prisoners, I see Lek, Oak and my mother in law waiting patiently.
I pass yet another search by the trustee vultures with Oak’s goodies still intact.
I give my very shy and nervous mother in law a hug and then my wife Lek a hug and a kiss, the rather dejected looking Oak standing at Lek’s side just isn’t used to seeing me kiss and hug his mum. So I quickly crouch down and hug and kiss Oak he’s unsure and squirms a little, but I can tell he’s happy and enjoys it.
I give him the bag of the chocolate goodies, his face lights up as he pours out the various chocolate bars; he then gets his own bag and proceeds to give me the goodies and treats they have brought for me.
He might be very hectic and wild little Oak, but he sure has a very kind and generous heart.
Normally only twice a year I get to give my family a hug, so you can imagine how important these 2 hour contact visits are.
Yesterdays visit I had put all Lek’s worries and fears to rest about the forthcoming visa appeal decision, so today we talked of our hopes and dreams for our soon to be future in England. I told Lek of the beautiful little school only 5 minutes walk from my parents home for Oak, and once I am in a prison close to my parents home Lek and Oak could visit me every week, where normal prison visits in a English prison are the same as the 2 special contact visits a year in Thailand we have, so every week will be a contact visit.
We got so deep into our dreams and hopes for the future, this was our best visit ever, not at all the farewell visit I feared.
We both saw it as a new start to a more happy and quality life, Lek was so looking forward to her re-union and going to live permanently with my parents.
Even Oak seemed remarkably well behaved!, I had never seen him like this! He even pulled up a chair, sitting as close to me as possible, which was a first ever!! In fact I had never seen him sit in a chair. Normally he would be running wild everywhere!
Oak even managed to sit at the table as we ate the fried chicken and sticky rice Lek had brought into the prison from outside (one of my favourite Thai dishes with the hot spicy chilli sauce).
Our first ever family meal together with Oak in attendance, his table manners reminded me of a chimpanzee’s tea party, but shit!! This was quite a step forward for Oak.
I got the feeling from Oak as he was quite affectionate and comfortable and friendly with me, no longer so shy and unsure of me, that for the first time ever he now recognize me as his father, born while I was in prison and only 2 contact visits a year, at 4 years old now Oak was starting to figure things out, he still don’t comprehend I am in prison, but it wont be long now before he does. Yes! This was definitely our best visit ever!!
Oak and I had a great time playing and joking with each other, Lek and I got a little quality time for a kiss and hug while mum in law distracted Oak.
1 ½ hours flashed by and the visit was all too soon over, Oak really made the visit for me with his show of affection and friendliness with me. When it came time to leave he accepted my hug without a flinch though he did squirm a bit at my kiss, he did enjoy it, his face showed it!
He didn’t look dejected or jealous as I kissed Lek he just grinned cheekily.
As they disappeared out the far gate I felt like the happiest man alive!! A few tears of sheer happiness trickled down my cheek, but none for a farewell I had been dreading!!
Tuesday morning! November 6th! Transfer Day!!
Most of my good byes I had made yesterday in the hope today this morning I could somehow sneak out of here with little fuss and without a crowd of so many friends I have here escorting me to the gate, as is the custom here.
The guard had told me to be ready to leave at 10.00am, so when the static and the crackle of the P.A. system spat out my name at 08.00am to report to the office now, I was leaving.
I was totally unprepared my bags weren’t packed! Shit I wasn’t even showered and changed.
Not the calm and un-noticed exit I hoped for, chaos and a mass rush as friends and well wishers swarmed around with last minute good byes and messages and in all the confusion and haste I emptied the contents of my two lockers into my bag. Shit!! It doesn’t fit!! I need another bag, “
Fucking hell calm down let the bastards wait!! Shit! I’ve waited over 4 ½ years for this day I say to myself as I swallow 5 or was it 6 5mg Valium, and a mate makes me a peanut butter sandwich with another 5 or 6 Valium secreted inside for the journey.
Yes! That should calm things down now and later; I left the remainder of my packing and fixing of the broken zip in
I took my last lung full of the overwhelming stench coming from the sewer in less than 30 minutes I felt the Valium start to kick in and all was well, bags packed and zip fixed. I changed into my red
Incredibly tight and close bonds I had formed with many people here living in such close crowded and atrocious conditions many of these people were closer than my own family.
I was far more fortunate than most here, yet these less fortunate were more generous than any; there were many I was leaving behind. I wish I could take with me, many I would most definitely never forget. My emotions almost got the better of me as I said my last goodbyes, handshakes and hugs as I took one last look at building 6 Bangkwang “The Bangkok Hilton”
Some friends I avoided the final goodbye at the gate, as I knew I would crack up, I knew they still faced years here and some a life time.
As I stepped into the gatehouse of building 6, my heart started pounding a little as the “Low Life Trustee Blue Shirt Prisoners” searched through my bags, for hidden inside was about 7 crisp 1,000 baht notes. Cash is illegal in Bangkwang yet everybody has it.
The Maxim magazine with its glossy pages of Big Tits and Blondes within my bag distracted their search in front of the guards. (My money was safe!)
Next was the “handing over ceremony” held within the prison in some plush aircon board room office, about 6 hypocritical bureaucrats from the mighty British Embassy were present, 2 guards from Wandsworth prison England (my escort) the Bangkwang Governor and his whole entourage of arse kissing scum that shadow his every move
(about 30 of um). Quite a full house with every hypocritical bureaucrats place set out with orange juice, spring water and some fancy cake each.
I sat in the middle flanked on both sides with nothing. “Where’s my cake Jeff” I asked to the only decent Embassy official present. I was asked to state my name and was expected to give a thank you speech, but they got nothing from me, I wouldn’t be able to contain myself in a speech, and that then would surely have been the end of my transfer.
Thank you for 4 ½ years of hell and the worst suffering in my life etc. etc.etc.
There was much pompous congratulations from either side to the other, the usual lies and diplomacy on both sides made me feel physically sick. Not one hundred meters away from this plush board room was the such contrasting squalor of building 6, while all here lived in another world, that are all guilty of participating in the lies and cover up of so many atrocities being committed not a 100 meters away. How low the British Embassy has fallen to Kowtow without conscience to these sadistic authorities.
How can all these people present live with their consciences, obviously very easily, looking at how at home they all were in their hypocrisy of lies here today.
After a photo shoot of me with various officials portraying a totally false image that Bangkwang is a more than humane prison, sure my photo would be used in more of their propaganda.
Shit! Shit! Shit! Get me out of here before I explode and do something really offensive that will jeopardize my transfer.
With the ceremony over I would now be taken to the immigration prison in
The Embassy Consul and the prison officers sent out from
The van journey with 5 Bangkwang guards to immigration prison was un-eventful, arriving there about
The immigration prison was a strange affair, the Bangkwang prison guards marched me through a small door within a big main gate, no sooner had I stepped through they undid the handcuffs and were gone.
I stood alone with my bags in a sort of court yard with various size human cages all around, civilians and prisoners all seemed mixed together, sure some were in the cage like cells, but many mixed freely in the court yard and I had no idea who was who.
It all seemed so informal, I was called into a office, “help yourself to the cold water or coffee” I was told by immigration staff.
It all felt so strange; looking back now I know I was not used to being treated like a human being. 4 ½ years in a Thai prison had institutionalized me more than I realized! De-humanized me?
After a very bewildered hour standing around, they moved me to a large holding cell and yard; it even had 10 public telephones within the cell. This sudden total access to a telephone after 4 ½ years also felt strange but it didn’t take long before I was on the phone to my wife and son, and also my parents in
Apart from me in the cell there were about 10 Indian nationals, none of them had come from a Thai prison like me, all wore business suits and had mobile phones with them.
They were all genuinely horrified when I told them where I had spent the last 4 ½ years and when I told them my 33 ½ year sentence for 25 grams of drugs would be upheld and my full sentence stands once back in England, they were all very reluctant to believe England’s law could allow such a miscarriage of justice.
Just then there was great commotion as hundreds of Vietnamese illegal immigrant prisoners filled the cell and yard, they were from the immigration cells (dormitories) of upstairs, by all accounts the same as how I was housed in Bangkwang and Bombut prison.
Men, women, young children, babies many extremely thin and in rags, the 200 hundred or so all gathered around me gawping at the strange white Englishman who stood before them.
I learnt through one who spoke a little English, nearly all were stuck in the prison indefinitely because none had the money to pay for the deportation airfare home. (Only a few hundred pounds)
After about an hour all were herded back up to their dormitory cells and it felt deathly quiet and empty in their absence, then the Indian’s were also moved and I was alone.
I decided now was a good time to eat my peanut butter sandwich which contained another 5 or 6 Valium, I didn’t dare get it out before, in front of 200 plus very hungry prisoners, one sandwich wouldn’t have gone far! Almost immediately after finishing my sandwich I was called back to the office. Sat next to me was a Columbian National, after my failed attempt to bribe the guards for a bottle of beer for each of us.
My new found friend lets call him Mr. Columbia hit it off together, he had been in immigration about a month after finishing 4 years in a Thai prison like me. So we both had a lot in common, my attempt to get Mr. Columbia a beer although a failed attempt must have been appreciated by my new friend. A short time later I found myself seated at a long table within the office by invitation of Mr. C, he had obviously been sitting back and weighing up who I was and had now decided I was okay.
As the next thing I knew he was giving me a can of beer with a paper sleeve wrapped around the label, just to keep prying eyes at bay.
By all accounts Mr. C had all the guards weighed off, the beer flowed!,
Can after can as we toasted each others good health etc. etc.
The guard’s formalities fell by the way side as we all got more and more drunk, what with my Valium sandwich now really kicking in; I was well and truly flying.
Mr. C peeled off a few more 1,000 baht notes and yet another case of beer arrived accompanying a bottle of Black label, shit the guard showed it to us like it was a bottle of wine for our approval. Yes that will do said Mr. C, now where’s the ice, another guard hurried in with a full bucket of ice.
The atmosphere in the office now was a full on party, the huge TV screen and Karaoke machine, what is it with Asian’s they just love Karaoke, I can’t stand it myself.
I hope you’re hungry said Mr. C to me, as plate after plate of every Thai dish imaginable started to arrive by the guards come waiters. They really laid out a banquet I hadn’t seen such food delicacies in years.
“Shit Mr. C!! this is something else I can’t believe this”, “My pleasure” Mr. C replied “another beer?” “Yeh why not”! “I have a lady of pleasure arriving in about an hour, would you also like one?”
Are you for real Mr. C of course I…………want one I reply. Shit! This is turning into some leaving party thanks to you Mr. C. me and Mr. C were having a grand time of it! Only in
All of a sudden the guards were in panic, grabbing all the empty beer cans, whisky and any other trace of booze, very discreetly and instinctly we both slipped our un-finished beers under the table.
Shit!!, Shit!!, Shit!!, my Embassy and my two guard escorts home had arrived.
As one Embassy official walked into the office, his face was a picture of sheer disbelief as he took in the surroundings, the room still heavy with smoke and no mistaking the distinctive smell of beer and whisky.
The sheepish and very guilt ridden faces of the Thai immigration guards was funny, I and Mr. C didn’t give a shit.
I was very reluctant to leave and I continued to slowly eat some of the feast, sit down and join us I said to the Embassy official. As he sat I couldn’t help but laugh, he was totally shocked!
Something to eat mate I offered, as he looked in disbelief at the banquet set out before him.
“Steve it’s time to leave, we have to escort you to the airport and on the plane”, how much have you had to drink? The two prison escort guards from
“Shit! Mate I’ve only had one beer”, I lied.
After much debate with the two prison guards from
Shit!! For a while there I thought they weren’t going to take me.
“Mr. Columbia I must leave, I think I’ve tried the patience of the Consul and my escort to the limit”
“Mr. Columbia I will never forget this day for the rest of my life”
“An incredible good bye to
“I wish you the very best of luck my friend”
I took out of my bag my most prized possession my white
Mr. Columbia still faced a month or so in Immigration Prison before moving on.
Mr. Columbia as I call you in this story, for obvious reasons I didn’t want to reveal your true identity.
In the few hours we were together I felt a true comrade in you!! I hope our path’s in life cross again my friend.
Thank you for a very memorable leaving party and good luck!
My handcuffed journey to the airport under the guard of 5 or 6 Thai immigration staff was a very silent one.
As the van wove through the
The Thai guard sat opposite me looked bewildered and then he asked in Thai language “why I was so sad and not happy to be going home?” When I told him “I leave behind my Thai wife and our son, and the fact that
years past”. “
He gave me the most sincere smile and proud admiration showed over his face, he leaned forward squeezed my shoulder, clasp both his hands together in a prayer like wai to me and said he understood and for me not to think too much, in the near future I would be back home in Thailand.
Shit! I couldn’t believe how sad I felt, I wasn’t expecting this.
A few minutes after our arrival at the New International Airport the Embassy Consul and my escort to England Arrived.
With an entourage of near on 12, a shirt covered my handcuffs I was marched through the airport. What with all the drink and the Valium much of this time at the airport is a “BLUR”
I vaguely remember sitting in a office within the airport, being plied with a large coffee and burger, waiting in the departure lounge is also only vaguely memorable, handcuffed I was put on the plane before other passengers, we took the back seat middle isle and the handcuffs were removed. Again I vaguely remember eating some very forgettable B.A. meal. Apart from that I don’t remember the flight to Heathrow at all. I guess the Valium and drink at immigration took hold and I was out for the count.
Arrival at Heathrow!, all other passengers were taken off before me, then 2 more guards boarded the plane handcuffed me and I was taken off to a waiting prison van.
The first icy cold breaths hit my lungs they hurt, shit! It felt cold!! It was 6 or
When the guards spoke in their heavy cockney accent I had real problems understanding them, when they spoke to me there would be quite a delay before I realized just what they were saying, shit! I had to listen hard and much of the time I just nodded in agreement, when really I hadn’t understood at all.
The front of H.M.P. Wandsworth didn’t look very good at all “Victorian” or older. At the time of my arrival, Wandsworth the biggest prison in
I was sent to C wing ( The introduction wing), generally all the cells were shared by 2 prisoners, a bunk bed, small table and chair each, a few wall cupboards to put your belongings.
The cells were quite clean and quite newly painted, good ventilation, and a luxury I hadn’t expected the toilet and hand basin in a separate room.
These were all incredible luxuries I had been without for years.
That evening they put another prisoner in with me, also a new arrival at Wandsworth “Mr. G”. I went on to spend about 2 weeks with Mr. G” as my cell mate. “Good luck to you “Mr. G” you have rare qualities in a young man these days, good family morals and principles. (Patience and self control my friend and you have cracked it)
Thank you “Mr. G” I enjoyed our time and talks together keep in touch my friend!
My one major complaint of C wing, due to staff shortages I was being locked up for 23 hours a day most days, very little time if any exercise or association. Association was the only time you had to telephone your family or lawyer, take a shower, hand in and chase up the numerous applications that must be done for all newly arrived prisoners.
My first hot shower in over 4 ½ years was shear heaven, it felt just so so incredible washing out 4 ½ years of filth and grease shear “Ecstasy”. My first dump on a proper
toilet wasn’t bad either!! Sleeping on a real comfortable bed, I had trouble!!, it just felt too comfortable after 4 ½ sleeping on the floor.
Hot and cold water on tap again a luxury I had been without! In building 6 Bangkwang we didn’t have one single hand basin let alone running water on tap and only 16 toilets for 850 people. The food in Wandsworth was very good, most days a choice of 6 or 7 different hot meals twice a day.
But shit!! Weather wise it was extremely cold!! The exercise yard felt like the Antarctic, patches of ice on the ground I hadn’t seen in years, my face and hands were BLUE after a few laps of the yard, shit!! I had forgotten what cold really was!
4 ½ years of sweating my nuts off 24 hours a day every day of the year, this was a big mistake transferring to
This is going to take some adjusting to.
9 days after arriving at Wandsworth
It’s still not over yet readers!! We have another appeal set for January 29th 2008 Nottingham Tribunal Appeal Court, at least this appeal is out of the hands of the realm of the heartless B…….. of the British Embassy
Just when I and my family thought we were finally having a change of luck another knife in the back from the British Embassy visa section.
I and my family will if need be move mountains to get Lek and Oak in
Some days later I and Mr. G were moved off the induction wing to A wing, they split us up as there were only single vacant spots in cells which already occupied someone.
Again I got lucky with my new cell mate “Nav” another top geezer who made me very welcome.
A wing was more like the Victorian prison you see in that old and classic Comedy “Porridge” with “Ronnie Barker”
These dungeons like cells weren’t so good, poor ventilation and the toilet in the same small cell.
At least in A wing we got more time out of our cells, even though most of it was only on the landing, exercise was 30 – 40 minutes in the freezing cold yard “Antarctic”
November came to an end with me really still in shock and feeling very isolated and unsure if I had made the right move or not by transferring home.
Without Lek and Oak in
By Steve Willcox
bravenet.com