There was another brief diversion a week before the amnesty. For two days there was a flurry of activity as Thai prisoners were set to work cleaning and splashing paint on an area of the building commonly known as the ‘Canteen’ and only called so because of the few rows of bench seats lined up there.

The usual malingerers, sleepers and layabouts, and some of the prisoners too, were cleared away from the area while the piles of rubbish, filth and cat shit were at long last also cleared and washed away, the first time in many years judging by the sheer volume of debris. The high wooden roof beams were swept using makeshift brooms tied to long lengths of bamboo and the whole place was enveloped in a cloud of crud, birdshit and asbestos dust from the ancient roof tiles.

Once that was cleared away the bench legs, table edges and wooden roof support posts were given a skimpy coat of internal white emulsion from an old five liter can that had been laying around, probably since Bangkwang was built.

The following morning a barrow load of fine tableware was carted into the building and laid on the benches with place settings for around 80 people. A ‘No Smoking’ sign was hastily nailed up. A brand new stainless steel sink – the first ever seen here – was given pride of place and was even ‘plumbed in’ so that water flowed from the tap, though the supply pipe was laid right across the main pathway, which incidentally had been lined with pot plants for what remained, as yet, a mystery occasion. The users of the sink, on the one day the water supply was turned on became to wish they hadn’t. after rinsing their hands and pulling the plug, the sink full of dirty water would empty itself onto their feet, the ‘Blueshirt’ builders not having bothered to plumb-in the drain hole!

We had now realized that this was to be a staged managed ‘Cover up’ the likes of which we had witnessed far too many times before and it was obvious that some outside officials would be coming. Farther enquiry revealed that a film crew would also be in attendance to capture the moment for prosperity. The visit was scheduled for the following day and the next morning the final touches were put to the whole charade. Water jugs were filled; fruit was brought from somewhere and put out invitingly at equal distances along the benches. Blueshirts and Grovellers competed to take charge of the final lay out of the benches and tableware was shifted from one position to another, then back again as each crawler tried to impress the circling officers with just how beautiful they could arrange the table. Meanwhile, ordinary prisoners gawped at this mildly amusing display of sycophancy through the barred partition. When everything had been arranged to nothing less than mathematical precision, a call went out on the main P.A. for exactly 80 volunteers to help ‘man’ the benches. Volunteers were to don their blue ‘visit’ shirts and report to a Blueshirt who would indicate where they should sit. For their trouble they would be given a free meal which was undergoing preparation that moment in building 9, the cookhouse.

Foreigners of course were not invited to this free ‘Nosh-up’ in front of the cameras, but most were grateful for the snub. Once the 80 hungry Thai’s had taken their places at the table – many others where turned away – the food was brought along in steel buckets from building 9 on a hand barrow and promptly dished out using large ladles from one end of each bench, the prisoners passing the brand new bowls along in a chain, and back until everyone seated had a bowl beside them. The ‘Meal’ was to turn out disappointingly simple. A rice porridge and side order of chicken’bones’ consisting largely of the birds neck and feet. A few bits of green matter dotted the porridge so as to claim a vegetable content. An order was given that the fruit should remain untouched.

With the stage having finally been set and with everyone in their places, the ‘Visitors’ were sent for and escorted by a big group of prison officers and top brass into the building. They were shown the ‘Canteen’ where 80’Happy’ Thai prisoners were busily tucking into their regular lunchtime meal- just as they have not been doing for the other 364 days of the year. The visitors, who where all in civilian clothing and plainly Thai, stood among the prison officers asking seemingly topical questions and nodding sagely at the replies while the camera crew recorded their presence at the ‘Shindig’.

A few minutes during which the entourage were filmed from every angle, then it was back off to the gate of the building and it was all over. Those eating were ordered to “Hurry up” and clear the area while the Blueshirts moved back in to make sure that none of the tableware was stolen. The entire sets of tableware were rinsed, packed on to the  barrow and wheeled out of the building, and into folklore within one hour of the visitors departure. Along with them went the fruit, Pot plants and the kitchen sink, and it was as though the event had never taken place. Everything was back in its place, apart from the cat shit which would take this buildings 50 – 60 stray cats a little longer to sort out.

“Who were that Lot?” I asked the prisoner building clerk who was dutifully pushing papers around his desk. “That was the health Department” he replied “Here to check on the eating arrangements for prisoners”.

The penny dropped. What we had just witnessed was one Thai Government Department scratching the back of another while a completely bogus record of this ‘Surprise Inspection’ was put on film for their archives.

                                   By Bert Bratoo